I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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