i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
