so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
