yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
