my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
