the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize