she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
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Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
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After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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