belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
