Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober