I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
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I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
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The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.