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I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
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