Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
