It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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