If i could tip my vagina, i would.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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