youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize