Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
She said her name was "party"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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