If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
it glows. i had to have it.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
