i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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