NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
