Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
