Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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