he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
