but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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