Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
