Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
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Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
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Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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