Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize