I feel like I'm in dance class right now
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
