the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
this will be a night to untag.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
