is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
