I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize