ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
