I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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