Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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