Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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