he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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