I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
