Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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