and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
