Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
soo... how was my night?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
