is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
