I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
