i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
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