That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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