He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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