Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
