WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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