actually, I'm a sock model
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
