You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Someone signed my nipple.
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