I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
