you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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