new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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