Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

ugh. my soul tastes like vodka

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems

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(906): View more from Michigan

I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.

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(330): View more from Ohio

that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning

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(513): View more from Ohio

you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.

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(209): View more from California

High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP

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