these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Randomize
