Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
