Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
