Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
