so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
