Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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