Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
