Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
