I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
