singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
