I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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