I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Ladies don't puke and tell
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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