Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
