You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
